I Interviewed My Husband About Sex

I Interviewed My Husband About Sex

Sex has seasons, just like everything else in our lives. That’s why it is so important to keep the communication alive in your marriage and to talk about that three-letter-word—even if it makes you suuuper uncomfortable.

Here’s an analogy to bring it home:

You can’t expect a phone that hasn’t been updated in ages to function fully. Sure, it still works, but it isn’t living up to what it was designed for because there is no communication between the phone and the new software. Eventually, apps won’t look up to date and may not even run properly, you’ll start to see an alien error code for emojis, and you’ll most likely begin to experience a slower device—almost as if the phone itself is protesting you, the user, until you give it the update it so desperately needs.

The same thing happens in our sex lives when we never give them the chance for an update. 

As our lives and experiences evolve, so do our arousal triggers, interests, and sex drives.

For example, my idea of great sex has changed dramatically since having children. Pre-kids, quickies were just whatever—but I cherish a quick moment of intimacy much more now that I see how much more difficult it is to find those pockets of time alone.

Yours will vary based on your own life experiences and preferences, but the point is that if your desires have changed and you’re not talking about it, you’re missing out on the intimacy and merely going through the motions.

If you’re wondering how on earth to start a conversation with your love about sex, I’ve got you covered! My husband was gracious enough to allow me to do an interview with him and share it with you in hopes that it may encourage you to do your own interview with your spouse. Interviewing each other can be a really gentle and fun way to talk about intimacy, especially if it’s something you have a difficult time discussing in general.

A few quick things:

  • You can make this into a game where both of you ask the questions. That way your partner doesn’t feel isolated and vulnerable in their responses because they know you’ll be answering too.
  • Make sure you are both in a good mood.
  • Make it fun! Remember, you are not Barbara Walters and this is not a hard-hitting interview. There are no wrong answers and you should be able to laugh and enjoy this together as you learn more about what works for your partner.


Now that you’ve got the guidelines to have your very own interview, here’s mine with my husband, Derek.

Andi: What do you enjoy the most about sex?

Derek: What do I enjoy the most about sex? (Insert maniacal laugh here) There’s so much! I guess the closeness and the excitement that comes with it. 

Andi: What do you mean by that?

Derek: Like I’m excited to have that time specifically with you and only you. It’s something I cherish between us. It’s what makes us unique. 

Andi: How much sex do you prefer to have every week?

Derek: Every day. At least every day. (And then I laughed because I knew that’s what he was going to say)

Andi: What is your favorite position? (Yes, friends, I went there).

Derek: Is this going in your thing? (by “thing” he means my blog. Lol. You know, this thing) Oh man; we have so many. I don’t want my family reading about me having you reverse cowgirl.

(He didn’t actually say “having”. The real word is everyone’s least favorite autocorrect LOL)

Andi: So reverse cowgirl then? 

Derek: *Blushing* Yes 

Andi: Do you like foreplay? Why? I already know the answer to this but…

Derek: Duhhh. Because I enjoy build up. I enjoy the increase, the excitement, I enjoy pleasing you. 

Andi: What is your favorite thing I do? What’s the biggest turn on for you?

Derek: When you take control or tell me what you want. When you initiate.

Andi: What do you wish I did more of?

Derek: I wish you were more forward

Andi: Like “yo, gimme dat!”?

Derek: Yep! Or tell me what you want. What position you want. Etc

Andi: What is your favorite thing about our sex life?

Derek: That it always feels exciting and meaningful.

Andi: Can you go into more depth? 

Derek: It’s something I look forward to every day. It’s just between us. It’s our time together. It’s the closest I can get to you, even more so now that we have kids. Because so many of our moments are shared. Even our sex is shared sometimes. Sometimes they walk in. 

Andi: Any other thoughts you would like people to know? 

Derek: *Insert inappropriate comment here*

Here’s my takeaway from interviewing Derek:

  • The emotional connection is just as important as the physical connection for him
  • He treasures that time we have together
  • And he would enjoy it if I spent a little more time vocalizing/initiating what I want


This information is invaluable when it comes to maintaining and expanding intimacy in my marriage because it shows me what areas mean the most to my husband and how I can better serve our marriage in the bedroom.

I hope you feel encouraged by this and that you try it out in your own marriage. And if you do, let me know how it goes! Details are optional 😉

Talk soon!

Chateau De Franklin

We’re all adults here.
We know there isn’t a stork in a USPS hat that drops off little pre-diapered babies at our doorsteps, right?
(Dad, this is your cue to stop reading).
So it should come as no surprise that my husband and I created Declan the old fashion way.
Meaning sex.


We had sex.

But just like those frisky dolphin cousins of ours we like to have said relations recreationally as well.

I know that people say sex goes out the window once you have kids but in our case that just isn’t true.
Sex didn’t leave; it adapted.

Sex Before Declan:


Sexy attire, music playing, and a neat bookshelf.

Sex After Declan:

Pizza with ranch and baseball tees.

But with all kidding aside I will say that we have had to get a lot more creative.

I mean, what are you supposed to do when your baby not only co-sleeps but sprawls out over the entire bed?

I’ll tell you what.

We call it Chateau De Franklin.


As you can see, we decided to go full-blown luxury with this baby.

There’s the leopard print side for a flirty night or you can turn it around for a cozy cabin feel.

I’m thinking of opening my own shop on Etsy.

Are you tired of having to restrict sex to the shower while your kid is in the bathroom with you, awkwardly watching?

Do they hog the bed and make it impossible to even scoot to one side and be intimate?

Do you wish you could have your very own space for you and your partner to get down and dirty?

Well now you can with My Sexy Chateau!

Since I’m sure Derek and I are the only parents on the planet that have ever made a sex spot on their floor with a blanket, I don’t think getting it patented will be a problem.

But seriously, you do what you’ve got to do right?

How do you keep intimacy alive after having kids?

What is your sexfession?
Whether you had sex with your kid in the bed or had your dog come up and lick your butt mid sesh, I want you to confess!
(Confession: Both have happened in my home).

Post in the comments or email them to me (amfranklin1016@gmail.com) and I will feature them on my next post.

I changed the settings on here too so if you would prefer to leave your story anonymously you may do so in the comments.

I can’t wait to hear your stories!